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Nick Swisher Still Achieving Superlatives Despite Struggling At His Day Job

I'll be the first to admit it: I'm not a Nick Swisher fan. 

The stupid grin, the ridiculous Twitter timeline, the audacity to wear the number 33 in Boston...the list goes on.

So every time that Swisher comes to the plate and goes fishing with two strikes, only to wind up back on the bench in a matter of seconds, I get a little bit of what Mike Felger refers to as "blood flow."

After an all-star campaign in 2010, Swisher's back to his normal form, which is sort of mediocre and not really that noticeable at any point except when he's golfing for sliders that he just can't reach. 

Normally, this is the point where I'd dive into a big, long, statistical troll, but I was informed when I read Ken Rosenthal's column over at recently that there's a perfectly legitimate reason for his struggles this year: Nick Swisher has released a music album.

And not just any album, either. Swisher's "Believe" is currently ranked third on the iTunes Children's Releases chart.

The 12-song album features absolutely nothing that I'd ever waste my time or my precious eardrums listening to, so I'm just going to assume that it's probably awful, sort of like Swisher's baseball abilities. After all, nothing worth buying is actually bought by kids nowadays. 

Rosenthal said that the Yankees actually used one of Swisher's songs as their victory song last week, which is further proof that their bad taste isn't limited just to Mark Teixeira's face and Derek Jeter getting a three-year, 51 million dollar deal last winter.