To say the least, Roger Clemens' career has had its ups and its downs.
He's done everything possible on the baseball field: Cy Young awards, World Series titles, been on the verge of brawling Mike Piazza, etc. But off the field it hasn't been so pretty: steroid accusations, bad haircuts, steroid accusations, bad ties, steroid accusations, etc.
So put a tune to all that. Maybe "Rocket Man" by Elton John? How about "Might As Well Get Juiced" by the Rolling Stones? Two very obvious choices, but WEEI presents us with the entire soundtrack of Clemens' life -- and boy, is it an interesting soundtrack.
My favorite is the first track on the album. Some good ol' country that the Rocket loves:
1. “Blame it on Texas” by Mark Chesnutt
TIME: 1977-84
LYRICS: Blame it on Texas. Don’t blame it on me. I am who I am, and that’s what I’m gonna be.
SCENE: Everything’s bigger in Texas. Even a**holes. I’m convinced Leonardo DiCaprio planted the “grow up to be a pompous blowhard” seed in Roger’s head Inception-style at some point between his graduation from Spring Woods High in Houston and his 1983 College World Series victory at the University of Texas.
The album really heats up midway through when Clemens needs a little extra juice:
6. “Shoot ‘Em Up” by Bone Thugs ‘N Harmony
TIME: 1998, 2000-01
LYRICS: What, did you think I’m scared? Shoot, shoot, shoot ‘em up, shoot ‘em up, shoot ‘em up.
SCENE: Any time a strange guy tells you the solution to your problems is bending over and shooting something into your butt, you’ve gotta do it. Especially when that strange guy looks like Brian McNamee. Is that a steroids needle in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
The way the album ends, too, is also special. But something tells me this song will continue to linger in Clemens' life:
13. “I Fought the Law” by the Bobby Fuller Four
TIME: February 13, 2008-present
LYRICS: I needed money, ’cause I had none. I fought the law, and the law won.
SCENE: We may not have learned much from Roger’s testimony to Congress that earned him his indictment, but we learned one thing: he’s awesome at making up words. We can all benefit from the term “misremembered”: “What do you mean you asked me to have this report on your desk by Friday? Boss, I think you’re misremembering.”
You're fighting the law, Rog', and you're gonna' lose.