In the now infamous LeBron James feature, in which Arash Markazi parties in Las Vegas with the newest member of the Heat (the article was quickly taken down by ESPN, who said, "The story should have never been published" and that it had not gone "through the usual editorial process") and we learn what it's like to spend a night out when you're an NBA superstar.
Like, for example: naked women bathing in water and rose petals, a giant, red, crown-shaped cake delivered by go-go dancers and waitresses (on a wire, of course) providing "Ace of Spades" champagne.
But that wasn't even the best part.
No, the best part was the Celtics' Glen Davis, who just happened to also be partying at Tao that night (text via Dan Devine, who grabbed it before ESPN took it down):
Towards the end of the night, Celtics center Glen Davis walks past James' party and looks at the scene up and down several times like a painting in a museum, soaking in the images of the go-go dancers, the "King" sign and the costumed man delivering bottles of champagne. Davis shakes his head and walks on.
The interest in where Big Baby wandered off to after seeing James got the SB Nation newsroom talking. Some possible ideas: the buffet; some light $5 blackjack; staring at the lions at MGM Grand; riding the roller coaster atop the Stratosphere.
Regardless of where Davis ended up, one thing was for certain: he was simply too awesome to deal with crown-shaped cakes.