VIDEO: David Stern Brings Chainsaw to NBA Negotiations, Shows Off 42-inch Vertical

*This is not a real depiction of the NBA Lockout* 

I've read hundreds of articles, blog posts and tweets trying to explain the Lockout, and even written a few myself. But it wasn't until I stumbled across this video by Taiwan's Next Media Animation that I fully understood what was going on. It all makes sense now. Here's what I learned from the 90 second video:

• Goaltending rules do not apply to David Stern.
• David Stern has hops.
• LeBron takes the "King James" mantra seriously, and wears a crown 24/7, even while cooking pizza with Derek Fisher. 
• David Stern handles a chainsaw better than you'd expect.
• Speaking of, someone needs to tell Derek Fisher that he brought a machete to a chainsaw fight.
• When the Pistons eventually get contracted David Stern will weep like Rocky after Micky died in Rocky III.
• Time Warner Cable is a woman.
• LeBron's game doesn't translate in Taiwan. 
• "LONG LIVE THE LOCKOUT!"

Make the jump to watch the video.

NBA lockout spoils start of 2011 season (via NMAWorldEdition)

(H/T NESN)

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