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VIDEO: David Stern Brings Chainsaw to NBA Negotiations, Shows Off 42-inch Vertical

*This is not a real depiction of the NBA Lockout* 

I've read hundreds of articles, blog posts and tweets trying to explain the Lockout, and even written a few myself. But it wasn't until I stumbled across this video by Taiwan's Next Media Animation that I fully understood what was going on. It all makes sense now. Here's what I learned from the 90 second video:

  • Goaltending rules do not apply to David Stern.
  • David Stern has hops.
  • LeBron takes the "King James" mantra seriously, and wears a crown 24/7, even while cooking pizza with Derek Fisher
  • David Stern handles a chainsaw better than you'd expect.
  • Speaking of, someone needs to tell Derek Fisher that he brought a machete to a chainsaw fight.
  • When the Pistons eventually get contracted David Stern will weep like Rocky after Micky died in Rocky III.
  • Time Warner Cable is a woman.
  • LeBron's game doesn't translate in Taiwan. 
  • "LONG LIVE THE LOCKOUT!"

Make the jump to watch the video.

Star-divide

NBA lockout spoils start of 2011 season (via NMAWorldEdition)

(H/T NESN)

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Visit our Celtics Blog, aptly titled Celtics Blog for all your Celtics updates during the lockout.

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Edited by Gethin Coolbaugh

Regional Editor

Gethin Coolbaugh is the Editor at SB Nation Boston. A lifelong Massachusetts resident and diehard Boston sports fan, Gethin has worked in and around the sports journalism environment for all of his adult life. In addition to serving as editor at SB Nation Boston, Gethin covers the Boston Celtics... See my profile



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