Get it?! Because Brandon Spikes, the Patriots rookie linebacker, made a sex tape, and now it has made its way online. After Deadspin passed, it appeared on WorldStarHipHop (they reportedly paid $1500 for it), and then made its way around the Internet, as such videos are apt to do (it's a series of tubes, after all).
The video shows an awfully naked Spikes, broadcasting live on Chatroulette from his webcam, apparently while he was still at Florida. Here's how SB Nation's Andrew Sharp described it:
His sex tape isn't quite the dystopian snuff film befitting a professional ass-kicker—it's actually a profoundly weird Chatroulette session, where he just sort of lays there next to another girl, staring into the camera. So I guess it's more of an awkward, out-of-place professional mistake befitting an NFL rookie.
The Patriots have not commented (the thought of Bill Belichick addressing Spikes' sex tape is hysterical), but Spikes' agent did on Tuesday.
Agent Terry Watson has come out in support of Brandon Spikes with regard to sex tapes that have surfaced on the Internet involving the Patriots [team stats] rookie linebacker. [...]
"It's an embarrassing situation for Brandon," Watson said when reached today. "It certainly doesn't reflect the kind of person that he is."
Best of luck with your own film session/game tape/middle linebacker jokes and puns.
UPDATE: NFL spokesman Greg Aiello says the league is "looking into it." It's possible the video could be a violation of the NFL's personal conduct policy, which states that everyone is to avoid "conduct detrimental to the integrity of and public confidence in the National Football League."